And I feel like I'm not really doing anything.
There are chances in life worth taking.
But I don't feel like I'm leaving anything up to chance.
There are phases in life that need to change.
And I'm not giving myself any room to get out of this phase.
--
I really can't tell what's been wrong with me. I feel very bipolar sometimes because I can force myself to be happy, almost hyper and just flat out psycho, yet later I can go and be down and not know what's wrong. Is it because I'm not getting enough sun? There's this thing called SAD and that stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it's like, when your body is deprived of sunlight and it can actually make you depressed to see cloudy weather all the time. Cause, last week we had all this beautiful sun and I felt so great, but now that it's going away, could that be why I'm not feeling great?
Or could it be that I'm just stressed out. Overwhelmed with basketball and school and managing friends, the boyfriend and family? Nah. I've always been good at juggling activities. I really don't think that's it. It could very well possibly be it, but it's just gotta be something else.
But my last theory, and one of the most probable, is that I'm not happy with where I am. Like school-wise. Did I actually make the right choice going to BSM? I love the school. The education is amazing and I'm actually getting decent grades for once, but really? The fact that I don't really have as many close friends as I'd like to is kind of throwing me for a loop. I'd go into more, but I really don't think that I really need to.
--
So, now I feel better that I kind of wrote about my troubles. How about we write about the good things in life now, hm? :)
As everyone knows, Valentine's Day was last Saturday :) And I was lucky enough to spend the day with the amazing boyfriend, Sterling. First thing we did that day was jump in his parent's car and go to Pierce's (Sterling's brother) first basketball game back, since his broken foot. And after the game, we went back to his house and watched Transformers--greatest movie to watch on Loveday, because it has ABSOLUTELY no relevance. :P We cuddled a lot. And then after the movie, Sterling had soccer practice, which was cancelled because his coach had been in the hospital or something. (And it's really weird because I found out that my dad KNOWS his coach. And I actually met him. Totally insane, right?) And after that, I got picked up and whisked away to Noodles, where we enjoyed a fast dinner and quick ran over to the movie theater across the street. And I think the greatest part about that whole night was when I stuck the box of chocolates in my coat and put my hands over my stomach. Man I looked preggo. :)
We went and saw Push, which is a really intense movie. I liked it a lot :)
So yeap :) That's life for you.
More later.
-Alexa Jane. :)
