Possibility of the L word?

You smile for no reason, stare off in the distance and drown out all the bad things in life. The world looks a little brighter when you get up in the morning, and you realize there's something different about you. You look healthier, feel stronger, more awake. You can't wait until he wakes up so that you can get a text from him to start your day. You never want to go to bed because you could talk to him for hours. There are so many things you want to completely spill to him, but you only cover the small parts, afraid of scaring him away with all of your problems. You don't care what you look like anymore, unless you're going to be with him. You never know what to do with your hands if he's not holding them. Nothing is ever as comfortable as laying down with him. There's something in his eyes that is so fulfilling, but he's the only person that you can find that in. He's always there and always knows what you mean, and somehow you know, you never have to worry as long as he's there. There is nothing else that can make you this happy, and when you miss him, you feel as if you've never missed anyone else in your entire life.

It's this feeling that sends butterflies to places other than your stomach. It's the feeling that you've never felt before, that everything is right, even though it's not. There's something that has been missing until this very moment. When you find it. And you see it when you look back into those eyes. And that is the moment you consider it. The treacherous, wonderful, beautiful thing called Love.

It's one of those fairytale romances, that never seemed possible. One of those things you stumbled upon. Something that wasn't planned. Something that didn't take time. It was just there. In one little thought, the possibility grew. And then, you realize, this is something you don't want to let go. You know you never will, but you take the precautions anyway. 

When you feel like this, you just can't describe it. But it's something that doesn't need describing. You can see it, knowing you don't need a picture, because there are more than a thousand words running through your head. But only one is needed to cover it all.

Love.

Still so bad at keeping up !

Sorry sorry sorry ! I didn't know I would be so forgetful again! Let's get to it, shall we ?

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Winter break was fun. Very first night was a Friday and I had prolly the coolest experience in the world. Now, if you don't like Ouija boards, I suggest that you skip to the next paragraph because it gets pretty freaky.. So, it was me Laura Kosch, Kackie Dankbar, and Josie Dillon in Laura's basement with all the lights off and the Ouija board glowing in the dark. As we said our prayer, we felt the excitement rushing through our veins. There was something so scary, yet so exhilarating about the whole experience.

We started out by asking questions like "What is my basketball jersey number?" or "How old is my cat?" And it got every single one right. After we used up all the easy ones, we had trouble thinking of questions. So, I came up with one that was going to make this night the craziest one of my life. I looked at all of them and smiled.. "I have an idea, but it's going to be scary." They gave me the go ahead and I spit it out.

"Spirits of the Ouija board, is Sally Hansen present with us in this room?"

Now, hopefully you all will know that my mom is Sally Hansen. And she passed away nearly a year ago now. So, that is why this whole thing was such a big deal.

As soon as I asked the question though, the gas fireplace we were sitting by turned off. I started breathing heavy and my heart raced, but Laura reassured us that it was probably set to turn off at a certain temperature. So, we went back to watching the dial move slowly across the board. Eventually it stopped on 'YES!' That was when the fun began.

After that, we asked if she had anything that she wanted to say to me, and the board spelled out 'HI.' Which was quite peculiar until, all the sudden, out of nowhere, Josie starts singing. 'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.' My heart took another jump forward. This song was one that my mom had always sang to me when I was a little tyke. It was really creepy too, considering Josie didn't sound like herself at all, and she didn't know a single thing about my mom singing me that song. So, then we asked the board if it was my mom singing through her and it went to yes once again. By this time, Laura had turned completely silent and Kackie was beginning to panic. Josie was staring around out into space like she wasn't even there and I was smiling like crazy. My mom was talking to me! She was there! But, since Kackie was scared that something was going to happen to us and Laura was pretty much exhausted and in shock, I decided that we would say goodbye to my mom and the spirits. 

We went back to the huge couch where we were all planning on sleeping and turned on the lights. Josie looked like she had all the sudden woken up and gotten a ton of energy, and Kackie looked like she saw a ghost. I was feeling so alive, I couldn't stop shaking. Plus it was cold since the fireplace turned off. When we went back to the couch, though, we were shocked. Two water bottles that had been sitting in an empty bowl, were now in different places. One on the floor and the other stuck in the couch cushion. That was really scary, because no one touched them.

Then, Laura proclaims, "NO WAY!" And we all turn to look at her. She was holding the remote to the fireplace, and it was on, and said that the fireplace was supposed to be working, and that there was no temperature for it to turn off at. So, we all were amazed.

Later that night, I was telling them all about the accident I got into with my mom and when I was finished, I stood up to turn the lights off, and as soon as I took a step forward, the power went out. All in all, scariest night of my life. And I LOVED every minute of it.

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Now, we move on to the rest of my break! That Sunday, I dressed up and went to Olive Garden for a formal dinner with the NAAAMRCD(+Alex)! And we had a really great time. We shared secret santas and plenty of memories. The rest of that week was pretty mellow, I had a really good and bad Christmas. The bad part was that it was the first Christmas that I had to spend without my mom, and I couldn't be with my lovely two year old sister, because she was six hours away and there were snow storms separating us from each other. But the amazing part about it was that I got to know a wonderful boy and I found out that we shared feelings for each other on Christmas Eve. (THANK YOU MARRRRLEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)) There was a lot of texting and skyping involved in that whole process.

Then, I hung out with some friends and went to see Yes Man with Sterling (The boy mentioned above.) And Colin and Marlee. Great movie. Afterwards, shopping was fun with Marlee and Kristy.

Seriously, all of these people make me wanna transfer to Armstrong soooo badly.!

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NEW YEARS !

BEST NEW YEARS IN MY LIFE !

HALLELUJAH !

:)

Pretty much just spent the whole night with Sterling, and then at midnight, when the ball dropped, he gave me a wonderful kiss. :) I was already bashful, and then he had to go and throw in that wonderful question.

He asked me to be his girlfriend.

First minute of 2009.

Ahhhhhmazing :)

So, that's really all I have to say.

I would go into detail about my boyfriend, but it's late, I have a basketball game tomorrow (4-4 :/) and I have a date with him after, so I should prolly rest up. :) SO, I'll do that next time.

So, goodnight. And I'll try to post sooner next time.

Love, 

Alexa