A Day In History

Today marks a very important day. The one year anniversary of my mother's death. And it was overall an okay day. It also went much better than I had expected in the first place. In the morning Josie gave me a huuuuuuge bag of cookies! :) And I could not stop eating them, they were so DAMN good! And my classes went well. My teachers seemed to be in relatively good moods and my friends were being chill about the whole thing too. After school we had a get-together in my coach's classroom and Mr. J (Campus Minister) came in and led us in a prayer because of the special day. And the girls all pitched in and bought me this beautiful locket necklace as a gift. It was amazing. Later I had a game, and it was a really intense one, except for the fact that my knees have been killing me the past few days. :P All the girls wanted to dedicate this game to my mom, so they painted their nails green and tied green ribbon to their shoes as a tribute to her. Because green was her favorite color. That really made my day memorable.

But tonight, Kackie fell on her elbow and has a severe contusion, but we're all hoping she feels better soon. It was really scary though to see her crying on the floor, clutching her arm when I walked out of the locker room.

Best thing about tonight though, was that Sterling was able to come and watch the second half of my game :) Ah. Too bad I didn't really play much, but it was still nice having him there. And then I got to hug him. It really meant a lot that I could see him on this... odd.. occasion. And I really owe him for all the things he does :)

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Tomorrow should be fun. After practice I'm going to Josie's house and we're having a sleepover :) It's been too long and I can't wait. I better get some shut eye. Tomorrow might be a longggg day.

Night :)

-Alexa.

rip - Sally Ann Hansen <3

Thinking.

Lately I've been thinking about what a year is..

When an event happens. Is a year the third monday of the same month the next year or is it the same day, like the 21st. I've been thinking about this too much considering the monumental one year mark has sprung up since the accident and death of my mom.

Which also leads me to thinking..

What have I done in this past year?

And that's when I realize that I really have done a lot. I passed all of my classes with B+ or higher last year. I managed to have a boyfriend for eight months, and since then have only dated two people. Last summer, I went to places like Kansas, Illinois, Wisconsin, and Iowa to play basketball. That was a blast! Then, I got offered a lotta money to go to a very good private school. Which I now attend, happily and unhappily. I play varsity now. Sure, I don't get as many minutes as some of the other girls, but it's quite an accomplishment for me to be there. I've managed to effectively help raise my sister. It's the end of a semester in high school and once again, I don't think I have a grade lower than a B+! And most recently I have found myself in a relationship with a wonderful boy. :) He makes everything easier.

-

I wonder what she'd say. If she saw me right now. Sitting in my cluttered room hovering over my laptop pondering how I've been doing without her. There are so many things that I've done wrong. So many people I have disappointed. Yet, I don't think she would be mad. There's something in my heart that's telling me that I'm doing the right thing. That I should keep going. Stay strong. Make it through and shine like the sun in the end. And that's exactly what I intend to do. Of course there are going to be those days where I get the mean reds ("The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of." - Breakfast at Tiffany's) but I'll make it through, just fine. Just you watch.